Another pro to having no flatmates is that I can smoke in the kitchen without complaints.
Fuck yeah not smoking out my freshly laundered clothes still drying in my room.
The most sober I’ve ever been in a club right now. I feel like shit. I just feel really sick. My mate lost her purse, she’s a mess, everyone’s wobbly and clueless except me and Carl and we’re both in foul moods, and tbh it’s because of ourselves. I hate this. Sitting in the toilet, just made myself be sick but I don’t feel any better. Can’t go home for at least another hour because people will kick off and it’s just fucking annoying and not worth it. I take feeling sick over the drama that it’ll “create”. Fucks sake. Definitely rates in my top 10 worst nights out.
For some reason, at night, this tumblr is more important and comforting to me than my main account. That’s why I have this one, I guess.
I just felt blindsided. That was all. It would’ve been nice to hear it coming from him, rather than to be asked about it, and have to act completely nonchalant about the whole thing. All I wanted was to know. Idk. I can’t fucking stand this anymore. It’s so lonely, and I feel like I’m reaching out to people to try and cure this, and then in the end I’m only gonna hurt them, because they aren’t who I truly wanted. Idk. It was good until it wasn’t, and he won. It ends there. Game over. I quit.
I don’t care I feel the cuts everywhere and I’ll fall asleep in a drunken haze and nothing shall bother me till morning.
It should have been me.
I drink
so that when I sleep
I hit the pillow and fall dead to the world
rather than lie awake
and think of them
and think of where I should be.
Not her.
